Finding My Voice

Running upstairs to my room and closing the door. Put on my favorite CD. Grab my hairbrush, while glancing at my reflection. Performing in front of millions right there in my room. The music fills me with joy and as Celine starts to belt the high notes I feel an indescribable feeling and the hairs on my arms stand on end. I was no longer the shy introverted Angela but the outgoing strong Angela who knew what she wanted. Up in my room I realized that if I could make people as happy as I was singing and performing then my life would be complete. There was nothing that brought me greater joy than singing. Little did I know Puccini’s “La Boheme”, would be the next CD in my stereo.

My family discovered my love of singing and soon after I started voice lessons. My first lesson is still fresh in my memory. As I walked into my teacher’s house I was filled with nerves because the only person I ever sang for was my mother, if she was lucky. The first thing my teacher asked me was, “Do you know why pencils have erasers?” I quietly stated the obvious, “So we can erase things.” She said yes and assured me that it was okay to make mistakes. We sang through a song that she gave me and although I was scared I sang. I liked the lesson and attended every Friday, but as the lessons progressed I wasn’t as happy. My teacher was training me classically and I didn’t love it. I wanted to be the next pop-star diva, not an opera singer. Luckily my family encouraged me to continue and things started to change. About four years later I remember the day when my teacher gave me Susana’s Aria from Le Nozze di Figaro, just to work on. As I slowly learned the recitative my lips wrapped around the Italian language and I fell in love. As I reached the higher notes my voice felt strong and so did I. I had reached a new place on my musical journey. Discovering my love for opera and singing in different languages was a breakthrough.
The summer of my sophomore year in high school I was accepted into the Boston University Tanglewood Institute for young instrumentalists and vocalists. I was extremely excited but had no idea what the summer would entail.

After arriving at the Boston University Tanglewood Institute I kissed my family good-bye. As they left I was sobbing because I was completely overwhelmed with the events of the next six weeks. The voice students had to re-audition for the voice faculty on the second day of the program. As I walked into the West Street theatre to re-audition I was scared and wanted to make a good impression. After I recited my name and the title of my song I looked at the pianist to start. The music began and I opened my mouth to sing. The notes slowly stumbled out of my mouth and my nerves got the best of me. At the end of the audition I left the theater and burst into tears. I felt that I didn’t do my best and I was also intimidated by all my peers who went before me with such unique and mature sound. Although I wanted to give up I told myself that my love for music is too strong and that I had worked too hard to just give up. I worked hard in all of my music classes and lessons and finally it was time for my final recital. For the second time I walked into the West Street Theatre but this time with confidence. As soon as the music began I entered a new world. The music took me to a peaceful place as the notes danced out of my mouth. I felt grounded and strong on the same stage where I had stood nervous and shaking just five weeks ago. The music ended and as I bowed I knew that I had changed for the better. I than realized that it does not necessarily matter how great of a singer one is, but rather how much drive, passion and perseverance one has.

Music has always been the one thing in my life that has allowed me to communicate my deepest thoughts and feelings. Every new art song or aria that I learn is a challenge and learning experience and allows me to grow as a person. Music connects me to people and every time I sing my goal is to inspire or help someone through my performance. Singing helped me discover who I am and what I am capable of. Whether it be singing alone in my room or at BUTI my passion for music will never die despite the struggle and perseverance that accompanies a career in music.